Lily the Pink

pink lily

Important Announcement: There will be no Track of the Week this week as Crotchety Man is indisposed. He is suffering from a bad case of this year’s seasonal ailment and has completely run out of medicinal compounds. In the meantime, here is a very silly piece of sixties nostalgia, curtesy of The Scaffold, the comedy, poetry and music trio consisting of Paul McCartney’s brother Mike McGear, the poet Roger McGough and the comic entertainer John Gorman.

Apparently, Lydia Pinkham’s “women’s tonic” is still available in modified form today:

It will cure entirely the worst form of Female Complaints, all Ovarian troubles, Inflammation and Ulceration, Falling and Displacements, and the consequent Spinal Weakness, and is particularly adapted to the Change of Life. It will dissolve and expel tumors from the uterus … It removes faintness, flatulency, destroys all craving for stimulants, and relieves weakness of the stomach.. It cures Bloating, Headaches, Nervous Prostration, General debility, Sleeplessness, Depression and Indigestion. … For the cure of Kidney Complaints of either sex this Compound is unsurpassed…….

I have no doubt it would cure the Crotchety Complaint, too, but I fear I might have to change sex first and I just don’t have the patience for that.

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