It was nearly time to pick up the weekly click-and-collect grocery order from the supermarket. Mrs. C checked the website for unavailable items and substitutions. Item 1: half a dozen wholemeal bread rolls; Item 2: half a dozen multi-seed bread rolls. For the wholemeal the supermarket had substituted multi-seed. Bizarrely, for the multi-seed they had substituted wholemeal. The missus gave me a look as if to say “What is the world coming to?” and we shared a chuckle. It wasn’t difficult to conclude that our best course of action was to Do Nothing.

So today, dear readers, we are going to follow the spooky pointing finger of fate and venture into post-punk territory. The primal punk rockers cared little for melody; they wanted to blow you away with raw energy. The post-punks refined that approach; they won’t knock you off your feet but you will still need to hang onto your hat at times. Here are two of the more melodic songs by Do Nothing. And don’t worry, your hat will be safe for the next 7 minutes 39 seconds.

These guys remind me of The K’s and Maxïmo Park. They are yet another recommendation from the pan-European Hubzilla platform but Do Nothing is based in Nottingham, just up the road from Crotchety Mansions. I’d be tempted to go and see them live when the opportunity arises but I’m sure the old and doddery Crotchety Man would feel very much out of place in the youthful crowd at a Do Nothing gig.

Do Nothing are:

• Chris Bailey, vocals
• Kasper Sandstrom, guitar
• Charlie Howarth, bass
• Andy Harrison, drums

There’s nothing complicated about this band’s music. Nor is there anything particularly exceptional about the compositions or the playing. There’s no second guitar; there are no backing vocals. There are no blistering guitar runs or machine gun rattles from the drums. The bass struts a strangely wandering path and the front man’s singing voice is half a step from speaking. But, somehow, everything fits. Except, perhaps, for the lyrics.

The lyrics all make complete sense to me, but they wouldn’t make any sense to anyone else. It’s sort of pointless for anyone else to listen to them.

Chris Bailey, interview

Do Nothing have yet to release a full album. Tracks from their three singles and the Zero Dollar Bill EP are all available on streaming platforms, as is the first single from a new EP, Glueland, due for release on 12th March. Their complete works to date can be found in this Spotify playlist.

If you’re listening, Do Nothing, I’ll offer you a virtual handshake (🤝) and wish you well. Care to swap one of Mrs. C’s wholemeal rolls for a cheese sandwich?