This Quark is far too handsome to be on mail order, I think. What the skibidi is this? An American band called French TV offering Star Trek characters by mail order? No, it's just a tongue-in-cheek title for a 10-minute musical composition constructed in the Zappa mould. It's one of those slightly zany flights of…Read more Mail Order Quarks
1990s
Black Light Syndrome
Sitting in a backwater of my CD collection, there's an album called Situation Dangerous by the 'supergroup', Bozzio Levin Stevens. I don't remember how I acquired it now, but the mental index card has it down as heavy/prog rock, and the attached sticker says, "a very pleasant surprise". Just recently, Cirdecsongs, brought to my attention…Read more Black Light Syndrome
Vertú
Vertuous living in Chaucer's England The meaning of 'vertú' is not clear to me. According to the first entry that comes up in a Google search, it's either "knowledge of or expertise in the fine arts" or "the good qualities inherent in a person or thing". Or it might just be an old spelling of…Read more Vertú
Tall Stories for Small Children
This way to Santa's Grotto ... Christmas is coming. It's the most wonderful time of the year for small children. But for adults, it's a tall story of peace and goodwill to all men. Guy Manning is an English multi-instrumentalist who knows all about the snow-white lies we tell to our children and the grubbier…Read more Tall Stories for Small Children
People
Nat Ural and Art I. Ficial The older I get, the more I worry about the human race. We are supposed to be a rational species, but I hear people making absurd statements and claiming they are undeniable truths all the time these days. Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. And…Read more People
The Book of Secrets
Magpie Murders Not so much a blog post, more a placeholder again this week. The bug that laid me low last time has left me with a lingering lethargy and a backlog of tasks to finish. But let's not despair. In a recent mailing, I uncovered a secret. In fact, a whole book of secrets,…Read more The Book of Secrets
Chris Opperman
Opperman was first inspired to become a composer by hearing the music of Frank Zappa. The Chris Opperman website The Zappa influence on Chris Opperman's compositions is clear on his debut album, Oppy Music, Vol I: Purple, Crayon. But there are more strings to his bow (and his piano) than that. The solo piano pieces…Read more Chris Opperman
Free Speech, No Offence
Warning: Some readers may find some of the views expressed in this blog post offensive. On Saturday, The Times published an article by our Home Secretary, Suella Braverman. It was prompted by an incident at a school in the North of England in which a Quran suffered some minor damage. The reports in the media…Read more Free Speech, No Offence
Polytown
Mrs. Crotchety has gone on her annual trip to her health spa. Her man is going to visit Polytown. She has a four-hour drive; my journey will last only a few seconds courtesy of the Spotify app. The lady's destination is a genteel seaside resort in the picturesque county of Devon; it is not as…Read more Polytown
Talvin Singh
In rehearsal, 2009 There we were, round at a mate's house listening to his excellent hi-fi, when he selected a track from his extensive collection and announced the artist as Talvin Singh, OBE. (That's Order of the British Empire for those of you outside the UK.) Embarrassingly, I had to admit that I had never…Read more Talvin Singh
Crotchety Man 