The trouble with classical music is that it has no punch. The notes have no attack; melodies wander aimlessly; movements stagnate. Where is the zing of a plucked metal string, or the thwack from a flick of a hickory stick on a taut sheet of calfskin? The trouble with rock music is that it's all Punch…Read more Scheherazade …
rock
This Wheel’s On Fire
I remember walking down Putney High Street back in 1968. It was summer and I had time to kill. In the late sixties Putney was a rather dull part of south west London; it probably still is. After so many years I can only guess why I was there. It was where my dad worked and it must have…Read more This Wheel’s On Fire
The Kinks
It was 1963 when the Beatles' She Loves You sparked my road to musical Damascus moment. For the next two or three years the Beatles were the benchmark for every song I heard on the radio. Only the Rolling Stones challenged them for the honour of the Crotchety Kid's 'best band' rosette. But there was another group at that time that sounded…Read more The Kinks
The Seldom Seen Kid
The five members of Elbow played their first gig together in 1990 at the Corner Pin pub in Ramsbottom, a market town on the northern edge of Greater Manchester. At the time they were called Mr Soft (or just Soft); it wasn't until 1997 that they changed the name of the band to Elbow ("the loveliest word in the English language"). That year they signed to…Read more The Seldom Seen Kid
Burn the Witch
There's a lot wrong with the world, I'm sure you agree. And it's always other people's fault, isn't it? Those nasty foreigners take our jobs. Terrorists come to our country, bomb our streets and shoot our innocent citizens. Immigrants sponge off the state and we, the tax payers, see our hard-earned beer money wasted on those…Read more Burn the Witch
To Rule The World
The marigolds were blooming in Southwold. Half a dozen friends had gone to the coast for a weekend break and four of us were staying in the aptly named Marigold Cottage where the bright orange flowers had bid us a cheery welcome the day before. This morning we had decided to walk along the shoreline, cross over…Read more To Rule The World
Electric Ladyland
Why do we write about music? After all, mere words can not express the pleasure we get from listening to our favourite songs. How do you communicate the excitement when you hear something for the first time and your inner music critic says "Wow, that's amazing!"? How do you explain what makes this song special?…Read more Electric Ladyland
Wicked Soul
Wickedness, Lesson 3 - Seduction Seduction is a game. It has rules, like chess. And, like chess, you're more likely to win if you have studied the game and developed your technique. The key thing is to judge the pace. If you dither too much you will be beaten by the clock; if you are too eager you will…Read more Wicked Soul
Into the Night
Life is mostly mundane. We all have our daily routines: the school run, walking the dog, watching the latest episode of our favourite soap opera. Of course, every day is different in small ways, too: a new crossing lady today, the Labrador with the dark chocolate eyes has lost his ball, the TV soap has been postponed to…Read more Into the Night
Red Right Hand
Crotchety Man is easily bored. Because of that he is always listening out for something different. Red Right Hand is deliciously different. The very first sound you hear is the Tang! of a tubular bell ringing out over a deep bass riff with punctuated organ chords and the soft swish of brushes sweeping taut snare drum skins. That's an…Read more Red Right Hand
Crotchety Man 